random thoughts

What if we're all reading this the wrong way. What if Chicken WANTS the apple slices to be on the ground, and every time we pick them up, he's like, 

MOM. Seriously. This is the last time I'm putting these apples back where they're supposed to be. (sigh) WHEN are you going to learn consequences? Hey Dad, look at Mom's new favorite game. It's called 'Don't leave the apple slices on the ground where they're supposed to be but instead keep putting them on my high chair tray so I have to keep putting them back down on the ground.' Dad, Dad watch this. Mom, I'm going to drop these apple slices onto the ground now. And if you pick them up, I will NOT DROP THEM AG-- see? See? She just did it again. Moms. They're so funny, right?


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Babies' butts on babies = adorable
Babies' butts on actresses = cover of Star's Worst Beach Bodies issue

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What can I add to cheese fries to make it an acceptable dinner?


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 Fruit is not cookies. Damn you, beach vacations. Damn you to salad-eating hell.


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I shaved my legs in a hurry. Now my right shin has a mohawk.

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