|... and the very best mommy in the world slept oh-so-sweetly that night, all because bedtime had gone according to plan. The end.|
Step 1: Eat dinner. Vegetable frittata, pasta with marinara and kale, ice cream.
Step 2: Color with crayons. Creative expression, quiet wind-down play, something fun to mail to my parents in the next letter.
Step 3: Take a bath. Play with water, splash gently, experience discovery, pour water from your cup back into the bath and learn physics.
Step 4: Go into bedroom. Quietly. Calmly.
Step 5: Soothing baby massage. Allow Chicken to pick his own pajamas.
Step 6: Milk, quiet play with storybooks and stuffed animals.
Step 7: Bedtime story, kiss, goodnight.
Step 2: Eat crayons. Better than ice cream.
Step 3: Learn that I can pour water not only IN the bath, but OUTSIDE of the bath! On Mom! On her pants! On the floor! And if I shake my cup! IT GOES ON THE WALLS!
Step 4: Run into bedroom. Slam the door. THERE ARE SO MANY SOUNDS I CAN MAKE WITH MY MOUTH LIKE A SEAGULL!!! CAW! CAW! CAW!
Step 5: Poop on floor.
Step 6: Step in poop on floor.
Step 7: Run away from Mom across the carpet with a poopy foot.
Step 8: Scream and thrash while Mom cleans my foot, butt, and hand (because I also grabbed my poopy foot.)
Step 9: Baby massage. Mom rubs lotion on my whoooole body and then I roll on the carpet and find out how long it's been since Mom vacuumed. (I'm crunchy now.)
Step 10: Pick pajamas. Fire engines.
Step 11: Pee on pajamas.
Step 12: Pick more pajamas. Pirates.
Step 13: Scream and thrash while Mom puts on my diaper and pajamas.
Step 14: Shake milk upside down on the library books.
Step 15: Pick my favorite book. The world is too big sometimes and I need to sit down on my pillow on Mom's lap. This is the best place in the world. My foot still smells a little like poops.
Step 16: Bedtime story. Kiss. Goodnight.