having a hard day?

A lot of my mom friends are in the fucking trenches right now.

I just caught Stevie playing in the toilet WHILE Wyatt was peeing in it.

When I brought him a plate of strawberries and scrambled eggs with cheese, he acted like I was bearing down on him with a red-hot cattle brand. Terror and rage, that's what he gave me after I cooked him the EXACT breakfast HE ASKED FOR.

She hit a pregnant woman's belly. She hit an unborn child.

He cries every time he sees grass.

He calls fudgesicles "fucksicles." He asks for them loudly and often.

All she wants to do is play with bees. I pull her away from bees, and all she wants to do is throw rocks. At other kids. I pull her away from the rocks, and all she wants to do is run into traffic. I pull her away from traffic, and she goes boneless and screams in frustration. I want to do the same thing.

We're weaning. When I say no milk I feel like I'm starving him. I ask myself, what does it matter if I nurse him a little longer? Then I cave in and he kicks me and rolls around and bites me - he's too old for this. But then I say no and I'm back in the mindset of "I'm depriving my child of nourishment and comfort." Then I say okay and I'm back at "It's time for this chapter to end. This hurts now." Then I feel guilty for being inconsistent. I can't win.

30. Minute. Naps. Are. So. Fucking. Stupid. You're TIRED. SLEEP. WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP? 

If you're struggling 
and drinking 
(or gin)
(or mouthwash)
through some really, really hard days, 
I've got your back. 

Momming is hard. 

You're not alone.

Your kid is not going to do this every day forever.

You know what your kid IS going to do every day forever? 
Love you.
For being the safest place on Earth.
For knowing how to cut the watermelon.
For kissing hurts.
For saying no, you may not play with the bleach.
Or the roadkill squirrel.
Or the broken glass. 
For singing all the best songs.
For doing funny voices.
For cuddles. For tickles. For brushing teeth.
For smelling like home.
For saying good-morning, good-night.
For teaching her please, and thank you, and I'm sorry.

For showing him
this is what love looks like.


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