katie's guide to labor: packing for the hospital

Absolutely Necessary Disclaimer of Nonjudgment: 
This blog post is about my personal experiences. 
I am not a medical expert. 
I have a degree in theater, navel-gazing, self-importance, and seeing eternity in a grain of sand. 
I don't really know what I'm talking about, particularly when it comes to other people's lives and choices. You may disagree with me. Please do not take our divergent choices as a condemnation of your magical journey into motherhood, or a rejection of any kind. I'm just doing me here. 

Packing for the hospital

What worked:

- Use a wheelie suitcase. Easier to roll on the way out when you might be "smuggling" (term for walking as though you are smuggling a baguette-sized quantity of drugs in your rectum. See also: how women walk after pooping out a baby.)

- Black pants only. You will likely be wanting some camouflage for your massive Depends diaper.

- I put an index card in a gallon Ziploc baggie. The index card had a list of all the things we shouldn't forget before leaving for the hospital - cell chargers, glasses, contacts, etc. The gallon Ziploc baggie made it harder to lose the card, and then we could just put all that stuff in the baggie at go time. BONUS: When you're packing to go home, you still have your index card with the list of all that really important shit you need, so you can make sure you are coming home with your chargers and glasses and retainers and whatnot.

- There are about a thousand websites with lists of what you should take to the hospital. Check one of those for a comprehensive list.

But here's the list of shit I actually used:

- Toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, contact solution & contact rewetting drops, face wipes, bath towel
- Cell phone, cell phone charger, iPad
- Photo of Chicken, Baby book, pen (I wrote the basics of the birth day before they faded - nothing poetic, just strict stats.)
- Nursing pads, hair tie, bobby pins, chapstick
- Nursing bra (I like this one because it's both practical and super slutty)
- Baby outfit to come home (I packed both a NB outfit and a 3 mo outfit. I didn't know how big this boy was going to be. We ended up using the 3-monther. Yeeeeah boyeeee.)
- Flip Flops
- Black yoga pants, black tank top with shelf bra, hoodie (to wear home)


Here's the list of shit I packed and did not use:

- Flannel pajamas. I got a really cute pair of DKNY PJ's and a matching cami. I thought "damn girl. You gon' be sexy up in that hospital room!" If only I'd remembered that I was going to be giving birth in June. And I'd be up in that hospital room lying in bed with my own personal 98.6-degree chest-warmer. If I could go back I'd go with something much lighter. I ended up in a hospital-issue floral frilly-necked housedress that unsnapped down the front. I looked like Tony Soprano's mom.
- Kindle
- Arrested Development Season 2 on DVD


Here's the list of shit I wish I'd packed:

- Boppy pillow. Breastfeeding, especially for the first time, is hard enough without having to prop baby up on 9 of those flat plastic hospital pillows that slip out from underneath each other and somehow defy the laws of physics and seem to bring the baby farther away the more pillows you use... it seems like a big bulky thing to bring to the hospital but you'll be so much more comfortable if you bring it, I promise you.


Feel free to comment if you have any other do's/don'ts you'd like to pass along to my booming readership of 10-12 people per day.

THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW!

1 comment:

  1. Inflatable hemorrhoid pillow. Your bits will thank you.

    ReplyDelete