csi: my house

Do you ever think about what a crime scene investigation unit would think about you if you disappeared and they came into your house to try to find clues about who you are, where you'd gone, and what you're hiding?

"Reynolds! You better come take a look at this."
"Whaddya got, O'Shanahan?" (walks over) "Holy..." (takes off sunglasses)
"There's got to be at least a dozen cans of soup in this cabinet. And check this out... they're all the same brand."
"Wolfgang Puck's Organic Minestrone." (puts on sunglasses) "Looks like we're going to be having a nice little chat with this 'Mr. Puck.'"

"Fletcher! You better come take a look at this!"
"Whaddya got, Spaznitsky?"
"Check out this laundry hamper. Empty. So it seems like they're pretty neat and tidy, right?"
"So what?"
"SO, open the closet door."
(Fletcher opens the closet door)
"Holy Mary Mother-a-God!"
"Yep. The clothes are all clean... they're just folded and piled on the floor in here. And look - the dresses and stuff that don't get folded? They're just draped over the rod."
"Good find, Spaznitsky." (twirls a toothpick in his mouth) "Looks like someone has something to hide. Bag it and tag it."

"Antonelli! You better come take a look at this!"
"Whaddya got, Dwyer?"
"I'm not sure, sir. It looks like a shower basket full of foam letters and barnyard animals that you can stick on the shower wall. Only..."
"Spit it out, Dwyer."
"Some of the letters are missing. A, N, P, I, L, O, and Q." (kneels down to use pen to move letters around in shower basket) "Oh, no, wait, sorry, here's Q."
"A, N, P, I, L, O."
"Plus the little farm house that goes with this barnyard set. I... I can't make heads or tails of it, sir."
(Antonelli looks out the bathroom window, holds up his hands in a little square over the bathtub as if viewing it through a camera, takes 5 paces backward, and smiles.)
"Dwyer. I know where they are."

(Fidelity commercial)
(Flo Insurance commercial)
(Trailer for Spider-Man movie)
(Bayer commercial)

"Dwyer. I know where they are."
"But sir! How?"
"A, N, P, I, L, O. It's obviously an anagram. Napoli. We'll find our runaways hiding in a farm house in Naples."
"Get Interpol on the phone!"


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