top fives: monday

Top five times I got to drink water:

1. When it was in my coffee
2. When Chicken went down for a nap and I chugged a glass while feeding Buster
3. When it was in my iced coffee.
4. Maybe Ryan will bring me a glass right now.
5. Make that 2 glasses.


Top five Facebook articles with shitty click bait titles that I did NOT click, just to spite the people who wrote those shitty click bait titles:

1. 8 Awesome Benefits of Sleeping Naked - You won't BELIEVE #6!
2. The Hobby Lobby Case Isn't the Only One that Went Screwy...
3. It's the Last Thing I Expected to Help Me Get Stress Out of My Life!
4. His Street Art is Beautiful. Then I Saw How It's Made...


Top five legitimate news articles I didn't read in my newsfeed because I'm 30, live in a bubble, and have given up on the idea of ever taking the time to learn the significance of a new leader of India or Afghanistan:

1. Nicaragua approves route for $40 billion canal linking oceans 
2. French, US Leaders press for Ukraine cease-fire
3. Asian Stocks Slide on Stronger Yen as Corn Rises; Rupiah Climbs (I honestly don't recognize all the words in this headline.)
4. $3B deal adds natural flavors to ADM portfolio
5. Sunni Tribes to Fight On Until Iraq's Maliki Goes, Leader Says


Top five interactions with another living creature's bodily fluids:

1. When that kid rubbed his sweaty head hair on my knee at the community center. Like a horse.
2. When Buster pooped in my hand.
3. When Chicken pitched a screaming fit, wiped a tear from his cheek, and tried to throw it at me, yelling "CRYYYYY!"
4. When Chicken kissed me. Just to say hello.
5. When Ryan kissed me. Just to say hello.


Top five cheese/bread combos I consumed today:

1. Bagel + cream cheese
2. Cheese + crackers
3. Macaroni + cheese
4. Cheese quesadilla
5. OK there's only four, but I'd really love an ice cream sandwich right now, and that's basically the same thing.


Top five things that I write on my to-do list every single day and never, ever do, including and especially today:

1. Make the bed.
2. Fold laundry.
3. Put away laundry.
4. Do birth announcements.
5. Mop kitchen floor under Chicken's chair. Just that one spot.

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