whatever you do, kid, don't read these books

JK.

Now all you want to do is read these books, right?

That's the glorious insanity of banning a book - tell people that a book is too subversive, sexual, violent, or immoral? Hell, you won't be able to keep that puppy on the shelves.

Here are some of my favorite children's books that have been banned:

1. Winnie the Pooh
Why it's banned
Talking animals are evidently an "insult to God."

Why I like it
Eeyore is so gloomy. Truly, it's rare to see a character so glum and truly depressed in children's literature. I appreciate that Milne respects children enough to know they can handle a character who's perpetually down in the dumps.

2. Where the Wild Things Are

Why it's banned
It promotes witchcraft and supernatural events.

Why I like it
There's something visceral and real and messy about how ferociously the wild things love Max. They love him so much they want to devour him, not in an adorable toe-nibbling "nom nom nom" way, but in a teeth-gnashing, terrible-roaring, great-rumpussing, "seriously I'm about to digest you" way. "We'll eat you up we love you so." I can relate. Love of a child is a powerful, hungry force. You have to keep it on a leash.

3. Green Eggs and Ham


Why it's banned
Homosexual seduction

Why I like it
Homosexual seduction

Seriously, I'm glad that I'm not the only one with a potty brain. "Could you, would you on a boat? Would you, could you, with a goat?" Taken out of context it's obvious that Sam-I-Am is a lecherous little heathen intent on corrupting his friend, introducing him to the carnal pleasures of whatever it is that can be done on boats and with goats. Maritime Goat Love and Ham was the original working title, I think.

4. Merriam-Webster Dictionary


Why it's banned
It defines oral sex.

Why I like it
It also defines abstinence, backwards, censorship, prudishness, and hilarious.


Have a great Monday, everyone!

0 comments:

Post a Comment