things you may or may not do on 4 hours of broken sleep

6 things you may or may not do on 4 hours of broken sleep:

1. Realize that you're thirsty. Open the fridge and pull out a stick of butter. Stand in front of the fridge wondering what you were going to cook with the butter. Decide you were going to make pancakes. Put the butter on the counter and take a lap around the kitchen looking for your pancake recipe. Remember that you're thirsty. Get a glass from the cupboard. Sit down at the table with an empty glass.

2. Eat an entire box of Triscuits for lunch.

3. Spend a good 30 seconds in a darkened bedroom, trying to get a binky into your fussing baby's mouth. Realize that it wasn't his mouth. It was his ear.

4. Get really, really irrationally angry about this Lena Dunham "scandal." SHE WAS JUST A CHILD FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!

5. Start to tell a story. "So I was..." Yeah... nope, it's gone now.

6. Yeah... nope, the rest of the list is gone now. I'm pretty sure I was going to say something about coffee in here somewhere though. <<Insert coffee joke>> HAHAHAHAHA!!! GREAT COFFEE JOKE KATIE!

WHAT.

SAY SOMETHING.

Yeah, I didn't think so. Yeah you better walk away.

I'm thirsty... why is the butter out?

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