hey everyone come look at how lame other parents are

Here's my problem with mean "cool" mommy bloggers.

The ones who are all, my kid eats nonorganic bananas and guess what, he's still alive! You're all dumb asses for paying that extra 20 cents a pound. AND I'M DRINKING WIIIIIIIINE NOW!

The ones who are all, I saw these parents who were talking to their baby like he was an adult and those people are trying way too hard, man. It's a BABY, sucka. He doesn't know the difference between pancakes and eggs florentine. 

I feel like these people are the mean cool slackers from high school, all grown up but still just as pricky.

They're the ones who never studied for tests, got D's and told everybody about it with a swagger that said, "yeah that's right I got a D, who gives a fuck?"

When Steve studied his ass off and was proud of getting an A, or disappointed with a B, these mean cool kids spent an excessive amount of time and energy mocking him. For caring.

That's who these bloggers sound like to me. Like the insecure people who brag about their own failures and pick on others who are brave enough to declare that they want to succeed.

Parent any way you want to, guys.
Seriously. I do not stay up nights worrying about your kid's banana-driven pesticide intake.
But don't shame others for their work.
At least not in writing.
That you then submit for publication.
On the internet.
Where it will live
forever.

That seems... I don't know... like a liiiiiiiiittle too much work for someone who is too cool to give a shit about parenting.

It seems like you work harder at scoring points off of other parents than you do about doing your own life. Or at least like that's the image you want to project. And that's a shame.

Listen, of course I judge other parents too. I see a mom grab her melting-down kid a little too forcefully and I think, come on, take a breath, anyone can kick down a door. I see a dad yelling at his 6-year-old daughter for talking back and I think, well I wonder where she learned it? I would never yell at my kid like that.

The difference, I guess, is that after I have my small, knee-jerk pettiness, I remember that yeah, I would absolutely yell at my kid like that. I remember that I have no fucking idea what it's like to be the parent of that baby. I remember that I could be watching the worst moment of that parent's day and what that parent needs more than anything else is a look that only another parent can give.

I know. 
It's so hard.
You've got this.

I don't go home and pick on those parents in a public forum.

Well, one time I did. She was so mean, though. And I apologized to her.

And I didn't publish my diatribe with a click-baity title on a widely-read website, just to make some people feel okay with being mean, and make other people feel defensive and judged.

What's the fucking point of that?

Why do you care how someone else talks to their kid?

Why do you care about the contents of another person's fridge?

Why does watching other parents care make you so mad?

Listen.

I know.

Being a parent is really hard.

But you've got this. You don't need to stand on anyone's back. You don't need to keep score.

Just do you, ok?

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