Me: Chicken should be fine for the next hour. I'm just going to run to the store to pick up a clove of garlic.
Ry: I don't know why you just said that out loud.
Me: Hey, you're the one who told me that there's no such thing as a jinx.
Me: Besides, if Chicken starts to kick up a fuss, we can always just settle him down with--
Ry: -- a mallet.
Me: THE IPAD.
Ry: Not an iron one. I'm not a monster.