house rules: chapter 3: play hard

HOUSE RULES
Chapter 3:
PLAY HARD

Mother, I'd really love to collect some treasures
on our afternoon walk
on this crisp, clear spring day.
Oh would you look at that!
A dandelion!
GET IN MY BASKET DANDELION
TELL YA FRIENDS
I'M COMIN TO COLLECT THEM TOO
OH
 IMMA COLLECT THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE TREASURES.
TRUST.

Oh my heavens!
Here at the beach?
And me with my snappy green shovel! I
 think you know what that means...
PUT YOUR SHORT PANTS ON
AND GET READY TO SWEAT
BECAUSE THIS BITCH IS HEADED TO CHINA
FOR SOME GENERAL TSO'S.
FOUR STARS.

Wouldn't it be divine if I colored a picture
on this rainy morning in March?
Hmm... which blue crayon should I begin with?
TRICK QUESTION
BOTH
DOUBLE TIME
TURN UP THE FLO
EVERY DAY I'M COLORIN

You're so right -
mixing some paint colors together
would be both diverting and educational.
SOME? SOME?
I THINK YOU MEAN MIX ALL OF THE PAINT COLORS
INTO A BRAND-NEW CUSTOM COLOR
THAT WE ARE EITHER CALLING
"SEIS DE MAYO"
or
"AIRPORT FISH TACOS WERE A BAD CHOICE."

Goodness gracious!
Chicken finished up his lunch and excused himself
to read The Kite Runner on a sun-drenched windowsill.
I believe I'd like to take a peek at his leftovers! Perhaps a nibble...
MA!
YOU'RE GONNA FIND NOODLES ALL UP IN ME.
ALL
UP
IN
MY
TOE
CRACKS
A sensory activity with crimped paper!
That sound positively edifying!
WHEN YOU SHAKE IT I WANT TO SCREAM
SO I DO
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Are these stones indigenous to the Pacific Northwest?
Well, they're striking.
Really.
BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP.
SUMMIT ATTEMPT IN T-MINUS 5...
I 'M A BABY
I CAN'T COUNT
I'M GOING NOW

Now that you mention it,
I'd love to make a Mother's Day collage for Grandma!
I think she'll really appreciate the value of a gift
made with
love
BUT FIRST I'M GIVING MYSELF
A GLUE TREATMENT
IN MY HAIR
FOR MOISTURE
AND BODY
ELMER'S
IT'S THE BEST
IS WHAT I HEAR
AROUND THE SANDBOX

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