i don't think water is going to get the job done there hoss

How many first-world problems does it take to make a real-world problem?

How many botched Starbucks orders would it take for me to get some cred in a place where the drinking water looks like my americano (THAT I ASKED TO BE ICED, BUT WHATEVER.)

How many little poopy footprints in my carpet would buy me sympathy from a person who lives on millet for every meal of every day? I have 6 right now. Is that enough?

How many times do I have to roll my eyes at the ridiculous number of buttons I have to hit in order to just swipe my damn credit card at a gas pump, before I hear "you're right, that's a pain in the ass" from a kid who has to walk over a mountain to go to school every day.

How many irritating phone calls with a super chatty receptionist do I have to "mm hmm" my way through before I get a sympathetic nod from the Comcast customer service rep who works 60 hours a week ruining people's days and receiving all manner of verbal abuse, because she can't afford to quit this job if she wants to buy new school shoes for her daughter?

Now, I'm not saying that we don't have the right to be annoyed by what is annoying. I reserve the right to be unapologetically put out by my first world problems.

I just have to then remember that I have the privilege of getting put right the hell back IN, even as I draw a bucket of clean, clear water from the tap to tidy up all those little poopy footprints.

Or maybe we'll just let that carpet cleaner soak in for another day.


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