theme weeks: why the flak jacket are you doing theme weeks woman

Spring Break was not kind to us this past year. I don't want to get too far into it, but if you'd like to read a representative post, check this one out.

At the end of Spring Break, I channeled every college student in America on Sunday morning when I woke up, nauseated and sweaty, in last night's clothes, and vowed "never again."

I knew I couldn't spend the whole summer trying to call plays on the field. I knew, if I did, I'd be divorced and facing felony public urination charges come September 1.

So I decided to invent a summer school for my kids. My goals were threefold:

1. Avoid housework
2. Avoid cabin fever
3. Avoid boredom

Now, I don't want to pat myself on the back too heartily here, but this has been fucking awesome so far.

Housework? Who has time for housework? We're going to the ZOO!

Cabin fever? Not here, fellas. We've spent fewer than 3 waking hours in our home over the past 3 weeks.

Boredom? Only when reading the Monsters University Look & Find Book.

mommy where's the glue

mommy where's the calculator

mommy where's the sunglasses

mommy where's the backpack


I want to share my Summer Theme Weeks with you. Why?

1. Because I know how it feels to wake up with a tickle of panic in your throat. We have nothing to do today. Can I go to the grocery store again? Can we fit more soup in the pantry? Can we freeze those bananas and buy more fresh ones?

2. Because the hardest part about doing this summer school business is planning the weeks. If I can share that with you, then you can pick and choose things that sound fun for your family, without having to wade through the avalanche of absurdity that descends upon your head when you Google "rainbow activities toddlers."

3. Because on Facebook I've really only been sharing happy pictures - mostly because, I don't think I need to tell you, when an op goes pear-shaped with your toddler, a photo can never capture the full richness of the misery. You'd need IMAX with surround-sound, smell-o-vision, and a personal space heater cranked up to 107 in order to really feel the pain.

And because I do not ever want anyone to think that it's all sunshine and daisies and photo ops.

so engaging
for Buster
he's having
the best time
seriously
such a blast

We have as many fails and wins, and while I think every parent absolutely deserves to take pride in his or her victories, I also think it's important to acknowledge the reality of an outing that we call "so fun" on Facebook.

Truth time.

It was "so fun!" Truly. I wouldn't lie to you.

But for us, there is no outing - NONE - that does not include:

- some shedding of blood
- a shriek of agony
- a meltdown barely stopped by the appearance of a box of raisins
- a narrowly-averted head-first plummet into a cold sea or cement floor
- a huge fucking mess cleaned up with baby wipes or rapidly abandoned while muttering a quiet prayer of apology.

That's what "so fun" looks like. And it goes downhill from there.

So here are a few posts about what we've done so far this summer.

If you're looking for ideas, enjoy.

If you're not, skip.

Godspeed.

Rainbow Week
Flight Week
I Love Seattle Week


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