let's watch a movie

Me: Guys? I'm tired. Let's do something easy. Let's watch a movie while daddy picks up dinner.

Chicken: YAAAAAAAY!!!

Buster: YAAAAAAAAY!!!

Chicken: Let's get the movie basket!!!

Buster: ELMO!!!

Chicken: No, Buster, you don't want that one. It one has Mr. Noodle.

Buster: (looks up at me with terror in his eyes, whispers) No... no Mr. Noodle...

Me: How about this Road Construction one! It has trucks!

no but you should have heard the way i said trucks
it wasn't like
trucks
it was like
TRUUUUUUCKS!!!

Chicken: Nah.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: The Lion King?

as soon as i said it I was like
oh shit
please
please no


Chicken: Nah.

Me: Good call.

Buster: (opens Elmo dvd case)

Me: Baby? Remember, that one has Mr. Noodle.

Buster: (drops DVD case, dives under a blanket)

me: how about this magic school bus one? it has
A BUUUUUUUS
and
STAAAAAAAARS

Chicken: Mm.

Me: Garbage Monsters?

Chicken: Nghth.

Me: Is that a no?

Him: Pthlblb.

Me: Despicable Me 2?


Buster: Yeah!

Chicken: Not enough animals.

Me: Finding Nemo?

Chicken: Too scary.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: Cars 2?

Chicken: Too sad.

Me: (cracks a 40, sparks a blunt)
Chicken: Oh! Hey! let's watch Up.

WHAT

Me: Wait. So Cars 2 was too sad.

Chicken: Yeah.

Me: but Up is not too sad.

Chicken: Yeah! Up!

Buster: Up! Up! Up! 

Me: Chicken, Cars 2 is about a redneck tow truck with a catchphrase that blunders through Europe as an accidental spy. Up is about loneliness, mortality, and dreams that will never come true. Up the saddest movie ever made.

Buster: Doooooooown...

Me: Chicken, do you remember Up at all?

Chicken: Yeah I do!

Me: Tell me. What's Up about.

Chicken: (looks at case) Um... It's about... A guy who wears glasses... And a funny kid...

Me: Kinda, but nope.

Chicken: ... and dogs and birds and balloons...

Me: Nope.

Chicken: It's about squirrels.

Buster: Squirrels!

Me: Nope. Mom veto. Sorry kiddo.

Chicken: Ok. Then I pick Elmo.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: Wait but this one has Mr. Noodle. Is that ok, Buster?

Buster: Yeah yeah yeah yeah!


turns out
it was not okay
And the moral of the story is...

NEVER GET TIRED BECAUSE NOTHING IS EVER EASY.

And the other moral of the story is...

MOM ALWAYS GETS THE DINNER.

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