Is anyone else reading signs from the universe in the wet leaves on the ground?
Does anyone else need a laugh?
5 Moments From The Past Week That Have Fed Me
Water metaphors and shower poetry ahead.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Chicken spilled a cup of water
and the puddle spread like a sinister algae bloom,
seeming to grow more and more as it raced, unhindered
to the edge of the table
|but it did not spill.|
We thought that was going to be really bad
and we were ready
but the force of surface tension
outmatched my personal sense of doom.
The water did not want to spill.
I couldn't sleep for three nights
and then I met this voice in my head
that sounded reliable.
It spoke to me and said,
"In my nonmedical opinion
it is perfectly okay
and even a good idea
to drink too much
I turned the hot handle on full
and it squeaked the way Hollywood sound editors think a shower knob should.
I looked around the room for a towel.
I looked in the closet for a towel.
How can it be possible
that every towel in this house is dirty?
I guess I put off laundry a day too long.
Instead I used all these hand towels,
like cold enchiladas that need reheating.
They were comfortable in the back of the closet,
and not at all accustomed to this kind of work.
I dripped on the floor
and it took longer
and made me madder
but the hand towels worked.
It was not what the hand towels
thought they were made for
but it turns out
they did just fine.
|so what I'm saying is|
citizens are like hand towels
is what I'm saying
Watch Apollo 13 with the idea that Gary Sinise is HRC.
Ken Mattingly, the original command module pilot on Apollo 13, was grounded only days before the mission because NASA found out he'd been exposed to the measles.
He must have been devastated, watching that ship blast off without him, after spending his whole life making decisions engineered to take him to the moon.
But because it did, he was here on the ground.
Because it did, he was there to guide it back home again.
Buster and I went to the store.
At checkout, we saw a bald man with a notably tall forehead.
The man was wearing a beige turtleneck that was extra-bunchy.
Buster pointed to this man and said, "Who's that penis?"
His finger remained outstretched.
"Who's that penis?"
And then I ran.
Just when you started to think that joy was gone from this Earth.
Who's that penis?