I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads.
The stakes have never been higher.
My son's futures - and maybe even the future of society - are at stake.
Consent is nonnegotiable - My top priority as a parent is to raise sons who respect themselves and ALL others. In our home, when someone says "STOP," I want the response to be instinctive, drilled in, incontrovertible. Stop. Not giggling. Not joking. Not "I know he didn't mean that." Just stop.
Buuuuuut on the other hand, this morning I discovered that this conversation could be part of my daily life:
Chicken: Collaborate and listen!
AW SHIT Y'ALL. With three little words, my world just blew wide open.
Do I raise nice, nice babies or ice, ice babies?
Do I raise men who hold women in high regard, or men whose high top and fade is the stuff of 90's legend?
Are my grown-ass sons going to be like, "If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it," or "If there's a problem, yo I am happy to help if you ask, but I believe that you are just as capable of solving it as I am, because girl, I'm not a plumber either."
Do I want my sons to have a vibe that says, "I respect you," or "Will I ever stop? Yo, you don't know."
Do I want Chicken to be like, "Deadly, when I play a dope melody," or "Creepy, when I dope your appletini."
Will Buster be like, "Girlies on standby, waving just to say hi... and tell you to smile because society has programmed me to think I'm entitled to your attention," OR will he be like "Flying to Duluth on standby, waving just to say hi... because we went to high school together and I can't believe I'm running into you at the airport! So what have you been up to?"
(Runner-up for that last one: "Flying to Duluth on standby, waving just to say hi... excuse me, you dropped your wallet, here it is, have a nice day and I won't try to hug you.")
|i'm on a roll|
and it's time to go solo
rollin in my 5.0
with my ragtop down
so my hair can blow
the patriarchy's fucking mind
grabs ahold of me tightly"
asked if he could grab ahold of me tightly
and i thought about it
and then i said "no
i am not comfortable with that"
and he said
do you want to go get a coffee instead"
and i said
that sounds nice"