KatyKatiKate

View Original

Burnout is Real. Bailing Doesn't Have to Be.

TIME OUT.

Bring it in, team.

Alright, we’re looking strong out there. We’re showing up, hustling hard, leaving it all out on the streets and feeds.

Now let’s look a month down the road.

In a month it’ll be July 8th. A Wednesday. Independence Day will have been a few days ago. It’ll probably be sunny and hot.

Will you still be eagerly searching for Black-owned businesses to give your money to? Or will you be back to Amazon?

Will you have read any of the books you bought back in June, or will they be sitting on your shelf, the symbol of your the way your good intentions get railroaded by your busy life?

Will you still be talking about how white supremacy hurts all of us? Or will you be taking a breather, because this work is hard, painful, and honestly? It feels like you can.

Read Celina Caesar-Chavannes’ piece here and follow her here.

Please know these aren’t shaming accusations.

These are loving, bullshitless truths, as true of me as they may be of you. You said you want to change the way this world screws people. I respect you enough to take you at your word. You said you want to help. I believe you. I want to help, too.

Our first assignment: recognize our collective habit of bailing, and figure out how to not bail this time.

I don't have a crystal ball. I can't tell you what's going to be on your personal agenda on July 8, 2020.

Here’s what I can tell you.

  1. Activist burnout is incredibly common. How many of us panic-subscribed to a hundred social justice mailing lists in November 2016? And how many of us built actual ongoing relationships with any of those organizations? I’m not here to coulda-woulda-shoulda anybody - I unsubscribed from ninety-seven lists in mid-2017. I’m bringing this up because we have to recognize the cycle we go through: activation, engagement, burnout, abandonment. Activation, engagement, burnout, abandonment.

  2. Our current level of passionate engagement is unsustainable, especially when we're talking about white folks engaging on race, and ESPECIALLY when we’re talking about the significant changes that will actually make a difference in Black lives. As Ijeoma Oluo says in her Instagram this morning, “The change that needs to happen right now with our criminal justice system, with our police forces, is not about reform. It is about dismantling and rebuilding from the ground up, and in order to get such massive change we really do need sustained resistance.” We have to build up stamina to be able to sustain focus and engagement.

    Breaks are okay. But breaks end. Otherwise it’s bailing.

    Anti-racism is a marathon, and most of us are starting from the couch here. Seriously, so glad you’re here! Just know, when people say they like running? Those people are already in shape. People like you and me, we’re taking our first steps, and nobody likes running to get in shape. How many of us have bailed on that half-marathon plan? (I RAISE BOTH MY HANDS AND A LEG.) It’s hard to get up to speed. Let’s own it and make a plan, because…

  3. No matter how hard it is, we MUST BE as relentless as white supremacy is. To really change our relationships with whiteness and white supremacy, we need to be as relentless as white supremacy is.

    White supremacy didn’t become relentless by asking people to make the conscious choice toward white supremacy all day every day for their whole lives. Has anybody ever actually asked you, “Hello, would you like to participate in white supremacy today?” No. White supremacy built systems that made it automatic, and then delivered people into those systems so their white supremacy wasn’t a choice. It was just normal.

    If you or your family go to school, buy clothes, eat in restaurants, love yoga, go to the movies, work for a company, shop at Whole Foods, or watch Law & Order, you are in these systems. Sneaky, right? So if people want to opt out of white supremacy, that choice is difficult to even see, much less execute.

I am urging you to think about anti-racism not as a "problem" that we need to "solve," but as a lifelong commitment. A marriage. A chronic condition you’ll need to manage forever. Or, as Jay Smooth says, like plaque on your teeth.

If you think of racism as a problem, you’ll get frustrated when it doesn’t react to solutions. If you think of racism as a suspicious mole, you’ll wonder why nobody feels better after we zap that sucker. Racism isn’t a mole, it’s a metastatic malady. The only redress is lifelong commitment to constant care.

Listen to Jay. Brush your teeth every day.

Just like in a marriage or your management of a chronic illness, you will not always leap from your bed eager to attack the day with optimism and a green juice. You will not always be PSYCHED to be here. I promise you, you will get tired, annoyed, beleaguered. NEVERTHELESS, YOU CANNOT BAIL.

As my favorite YouTube trainer always says, "When you're tired, that's when the work starts."

Knowing this, that we WILL burn out and want to bail at some point, recognize that NOW IS THE MOMENT. Build some architecture to support your desire to be a recovering racist. Make anti-racism as automatic as white supremacy has been. Make anti-racist your NORMAL.

NOW, and I mean RIGHT NOW, while you are riding high on purpose, do not stop after you’ve marched through city streets, live-streaming and caring with all your heart. You zapped a mole, but you’re not done.

BUILD SYSTEMS in your life that will keep you in this fight even when you’re pooped.

Remove obstacles to your ongoing anti-racism. Create automatic, habitual engagement and support, architecture and systems that are as relentless as white supremacy has been.

  • Create RECURRING donations to anti-racism organizations. Recurring donations impact an organization's bottom line way more than one-time windfalls do. They help them plan for the future and expand their reach.

  • Bookmark Black-owned businesses you want to support so you don't have to hunt them down in a month.
    Here are some that I’ve bookmarked: Elizabeth’s Bookshop and Writing Centre, Blk & Bold Coffee (get a coffee subscription!), and Pinckney Cookie Cafe (sending cookies to friends and family for upcoming birthdays.)

  • Find a local organization (led by Black people please) that's already fighting the effects of systemic racism, and COMMIT to volunteering, regular financial support, or donating your skills or expertise.

  • Enroll in an anti-racism course (again, led by Black people or non-Black POC) and do that work. Book an educator for your school, place of worship, community organization, PTA, anywhere you have a connection. Build a system of support and ongoing growth.

  • Expand your social media feed so it’s inclusive and race aware. Follow more Black activists, artists, and public figures. Not every Black person tweets about racism non-stop. That’s great! You need those joyful, silly, weird, academic, creative, dog-loving, crocheting, early childhood educating voices, too! Build a timeline that celebrates diversity and is plugged into the community.

A quick word about the many anti-racist Facebook groups being started by largely white communities right now: That’s great!

Your first collective job must be hiring, paying, and following the directions of a professional Black anti-racism educator. You might have to wait to book one because they are BUSY right now. Please wait.

There’s a common intention-centered phenomenon in these groups, in which a bunch of people outside a marginalized group get together, agree that the marginalized group is being treated unfairly, send digital high-fives, and call it a day. An anti-racist Facebook group led by white people and consisting almost exclusively of white members is not anti-racist architecture. It’s an anti-racist throw pillow: looks great, easy to walk away from.

Please continue to engage with your communities! Please join those groups! And immediately acknowledge that we are “coming to class an hour late,” as Annie Reneau wrote in this brilliant FB post. If you’re coming to class an hour late, you’re not prepared to lead any other students through that class yet. That’s an okay place to begin! Better than okay - it’s the only reasonable place a person begins to learn anything. Know yourself. Know where you’re starting. Find, pay, and respect a teacher.

Now is the moment to fundamentally change the systems in your life!
Let’s build this puppy!
The crew is here!
They brought the tools!
They ate their Wheaties!
Let’s roll!

Take the time right now to build anti-racist architecture in your life. When you build it well, you can even be anti-racist while you’re doing other things.

When you build it well, your anti-racism won’t just be passionate. It will be structural, automatic, and consistent.

Relentless.


Thank you for reading!

If you liked this post and want to support this blog, please set up a recurring $10 donation to:

The Youth Justice Coalition of LA:

The YJC’s goal is to dismantle policies and institutions that have ensured the massive lock-up of people of color, widespread law enforcement violence and corruption, consistent violation of youth and communities’ Constitutional and human rights, the construction of a vicious school-to-jail track, and the build-up of the world’s largest network of jails and prisons.

Or to Black Mamas Matter:

Black Mamas Matter Alliance is a Black women-led cross-sectoral alliance. We center Black mamas to advocate, drive research, build power, and shift culture for Black maternal health, rights, and justice.

Or to We Stories:

We Stories activates a critical mass of previously unengaged White families in St. Louis (or roughly 3,400 families) to view anti-racism as a parenting priority. Among those, We Stories organizes a community of hundreds of parent leaders who advocate for diverse and integrated experiences for their children, and this community is robust, cohesive, and engaged enough to influence family-serving businesses, service providers and government bodies, and put real heft behind region change efforts.

Follow this blog on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.