Ted “The Gollum King” Cruz beat Beto “Literal Jesus” O’Rourke, and the reason why absolutely should not surprise you.Read More
Surprised at how fine I am today! So fine! Just the finest, really! IT IS WHAT IT IS, RIGHT?Read More
I know I’m not the only one approaching these Midterms with next-level ambivalence. But despite all of the momentum leading up to the election, I can’t help but feel like I’m riding a ferris wheel whose back end has been hacked off.Read More
“Choose love, not fear,” is the social-emotional equivalent of “Have a green smoothie for breakfast.” I know it’s good for me, but I just keep drinking black coffee.Read More
This post is for men who are angry on behalf of the women they love. Male anger is branded as heavily as Axe Body Spray, and it’s ALMOST as repellant to experience in real life.Read More
It’s okay to be sad, even about something that once made you happy. Or happy enough.Read More
The message read, “It’s cool that you’re interested in feminism.” I had to close the computer and laugh.
But now it’s time to clear a few things up, sir.
He meant is as a compliment. But I was done. “It’s not MAGIC,” I snapped. “It’s work.”Read More
“What’s the closest you’ve come to dying?” I do not have a good answer. Not one that will satisfy the room.Read More
Come to the table. I’ve saved you a seat. We can do two hard things at at time. We are exactly that strong.Read More
Who else feels like there’s a Senate Judiciary Committee meeting in their heads right now? Half the voices are thanking you for your bravery as if your bravery were enough. Half the voices are calling you insufficient and you wish you didn’t believe them.
Who else feels like the sweet spot is there, and you’re just too salty for it?Read More
I can’t be the only parent whose parenting has taken a hard right this week. I’m laser-focused on surgically removing any Kavanaughisms from my sons.Read More
I want to pepper spray Chuck Grassley in the asshole. You could say we’re pissed.Read More
Welcome to hell week. Want to support your loved ones as they fight to keep their heads above water? Here are some tips.Read More
They don’t grow so much as they explode like a virus in a sneeze. Someone plants one spiny little bitch without asking, and before you know it you’ve got blackberries creeping through the dirt in the raised beds you built yourself… all you can think about are the broad green leaves you picked, planted, worked for, wanted, but will never see.Read More
I don’t have a burden of proof to satisfy in order to say what I know, in my gut, is true. You know why I don’t have proof? Because most sexual assaults don’t happen in front of witnesses. You know why my gut tells me it’s true? Because mine didn’t. Not any of them.Read More
It occurs to me that unasked-for bacon bits are a lot like sexual violence. Stick with me.Read More
I just read Jian Ghomeshi's piece in the New York Review of Books. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, multiple times. I await some sort of prize for reading the entire bag of lukewarm bile without putting my fist through a wall, vomiting into the fist-hole, and dropping my phone into the vomit in the fist hole while saying, "I FUCKING QUIT."Read More
What if mine ran?
What if mine was a shoo-in?Read More
Trigger warning: Triggered woman fresh out of fucks.Read More