cooking with chicken: toast

CHICKEN-STYLE TOAST

Prep Time: 10 Seconds Cook Time: As Long As Your Mom Lets You

Ingredients:

1. Bread

2. Cheddar Bunnies

Preparation:

1. Remove two slices of bread from the bread bag.

2. Insert each slice into its own slot in the toaster.

*** Note! You can try to put both slices in the same slot! Try it! Seriously, I want to see what happens. My mom wouldn't let me.***

3. Push down the toast lever until it clicks to begin toasting.

4. Push "Cancel" and pop the toast back up.

cancel is the bottom button make a note

5. Push down the toast lever again.

6. "Cancel." Pop it up.

7. Push it down.

8. Pop it up.

9. Yep, this time it's real.

10. Nope, pop it up.

11. Seriously, you can toast now. Push it down.

12. Wait wait wait, realize you forgot something, pop it up.

13. What was the thing you forgot? Oh, right. Push it down.

14. Change the darkness setting to 1. Pop it up. Push it down.

15. Change the darkness setting to 10. Pop it up. Push it down.

16. Open the bag of cheddar bunnies and eat them while you watch your toast blacken.

you know your toast is done when you blow on it and it disintegrates or perhaps when you drop it on the floor and it breaks

17. When the toast pops up, it will be hot.

18. Touch it immediately.

19. Scream. Insist on an ice pack, a grape juice, and an entire box of band-aids.

yep whole box right there add $3.49 to the cost of today's toast

20. Do not eat the toast.