let's watch a movie

Me: Guys? I'm tired. Let's do something easy. Let's watch a movie while daddy picks up dinner.

Chicken: YAAAAAAAY!!!

Buster: YAAAAAAAAY!!!

Chicken: Let's get the movie basket!!!

Buster: ELMO!!!

Chicken: No, Buster, you don't want that one. It one has Mr. Noodle.

Buster: (looks up at me with terror in his eyes, whispers) No... no Mr. Noodle...

Me: How about this Road Construction one! It has trucks!

no but you should have heard the way i said trucks
it wasn't like
trucks
it was like
TRUUUUUUCKS!!!

Chicken: Nah.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: The Lion King?

as soon as i said it I was like
oh shit
please
please no

Chicken: Nah.

Me: Good call.

Buster: (opens Elmo dvd case)

Me: Baby? Remember, that one has Mr. Noodle.

Buster: (drops DVD case, dives under a blanket)

me: how about this magic school bus one? it has
A BUUUUUUUS
and
STAAAAAAAARS

Chicken: Mm.

Me: Garbage Monsters?

Chicken: Nghth.

Me: Is that a no?

Him: Pthlblb.

Me: Despicable Me 2?

Buster: Yeah!

Chicken: Not enough animals.

Me: Finding Nemo?

Chicken: Too scary.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: Cars 2?

Chicken: Too sad.

Me: (cracks a 40, sparks a blunt)

Chicken: Oh! Hey! let's watch Up.

WHAT

Me: Wait. So Cars 2 was too sad.

Chicken: Yeah.

Me: but Up is not too sad.

Chicken: Yeah! Up!

Buster: Up! Up! Up!

Me: Chicken, Cars 2 is about a redneck tow truck with a catchphrase that blunders through Europe as an accidental spy. Up is about loneliness, mortality, and dreams that will never come true. Up the saddest movie ever made.

Buster: Doooooooown...

Me: Chicken, do you remember Up at all?

Chicken: Yeah I do!

Me: Tell me. What's Up about.

Chicken: (looks at case) Um... It's about... A guy who wears glasses... And a funny kid...

Me: Kinda, but nope.

Chicken: ... and dogs and birds and balloons...

Me: Nope.

Chicken: It's about squirrels.

Buster: Squirrels!

Me: Nope. Mom veto. Sorry kiddo.

Chicken: Ok. Then I pick Elmo.

Buster: Elmo!

Me: Wait but this one has Mr. Noodle. Is that ok, Buster?

Buster: Yeah yeah yeah yeah!